"Kristie plays the piano."
I suppose this is technically not a lie, which is good because lying to the Bishop is never a good idea. I am physically capable of placing my frame in front of a piano and touching the keys with some semblence of order. I read music, and I took piano lessons for approximately 6 months when I was 16 from someone who was not nearly mean enough to me. I enjoy plunking around the keys from time to time at my parents house. Let me be clear about this, though: I. Am. Not. Good.
Another statement was directed at the Bishop by the same person who uttered the first, seemingly to reinforce the concept:
"Kristie attended college on a music scholarship."
Again, technically not a lie. I did receive a small music scholarship to Utah State. BECAUSE I PLAYED THE CLARINET. Which, you'll note, has nothing to do with the piano. Also, I declined to accept the scholarship for a second year because the emotional price to keep the money was far too high. I can't believe I'm admitting this on the internet, but the emotional price was the horror known as marching band. (Hangs head in humiliation.) Please don't make me think about it again.
The culprit of these non-lies was my mother.
My mother has a lot of talents, but music is not one of them. Therefore, my musical skills must appear magnificent in her eyes.
The result of these non-lies?
I'll tell you later. For now, let me just say something to you that is absolutely not a joke. I am so scared. Also, I believe in miracles. Real, actual miracles from a loving Father in Heaven who cares about and is intimately involved in the details of my life. I have faith, weak though it is sometimes. I believe in miracles.
And it's a good thing I do. Because I'm going to need one.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."