Sunday, August 30, 2009

33 weeks

Floyd is squirmy these days. Sometimes I think she's determined to push her way directly out of my skin.

She's also a giant. (See diagram 1 below.)

Diagram 1

Cutie Patootie says she's "lumpy".

We love our squirmy, lumpy giant.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Word to the Wise

In addendum to the previous post which justifies an entirely new post:

Do not, under any circumstances, conduct a google image search of the aforementioned unpleasantries.

I am suddenly left entirely without sympathy for my own moderately itchy ailment. Whoa. Those pictures show a rash from an entirely separate and horrible alternate galaxy.

Count my many blessings; name them one by one.

I eat my peas with honey.

Submitted for discussion:

There is no better food in all the world than corn on the cob.


On an entirely unrelated note:

By raise of hands, who would like to know more about Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy?

Anyone? Anyone?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

My belly button is nearly an outie.

Last night, Sweetie Pie and I had the following conversation:

SP: Wife? You know what would be gross?
Me: What?
SP: If, like, the baby's waste had to come out some how. Like out of your belly button.
Me (confused): Uh... yeah. I guess so.
SP (earnestly): And you'd have to clean it up all the time. And maybe have like a little plug in there.
Me: Uh huh. And do you know what would be WORSE?
SP: What?
Me (with sarcasm): If it had to come out anywhere else. Like my face.
SP (flippantly): Pshht. Sure, if you want to make it crazy. Like that would ever happen!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat?

Remember that scene in Disney's The Little Mermaid where Ariel gets her voice back? One minute she's standing there mute, and the next she's "ahh ahh ahhhhh!"ing all over the place, right? That's what I feel like doing when I think about our bathroom.

It seems almost a shame to assault your senses with the before shots, but you cannot understand the true measure of my joy withuot first getting a glimpse of my pain:

Cute, isn't it, the way everything was color coordinated with the PeptoBismol pink and cranberry hued tile? Perhaps my favorite feature was this delightful piece of lighting history:

Which, incidentally, was removed early in our remodeling process. (Read: over 18 months ago.)

And as we did not install the new one until last week, that meant I lived in a bathroom with no artificial light for one year plus one half of one year. Nothing says relaxation like reading in a bubble bath lit delicately with halogen construction lights plugged into the hallway.

Not kidding.

But look at our lights now!
Are you ready for the rest of the transformation?

Out, moldy mirror! Be hidden, pink tile! Away, gaudy floral border!

And while it did require 10 days of showering at my parents' home and one caulking-related anxiety attack, even the shower is picture perfect these days.

We still need new towels and a window covering, but I've been able to bathe in my own home for almost a week now. Count my many blessings.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

There's no easy way to say this...

Husband killed a spider the size of a tarantula in our basement today.

I don't really feel like I need to add anything to that statement for emphasis except to say that I am absolutely not exaggerating and I'm thisclose to grabbing a clean set of underwear, my copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting, and my Tums and moving the heck out.

With my spider killing husband, of course. And Lupe. Does this look like a creature that can fend for herself?
At least when the Medical Examiner comes to retreive my spider-bite-ridden corpse from my home, he/she will have a pretty, un-pink bathroom to gaze upon. Pictures coming soon.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

29 weeks

Here is a picture of two things:

#1- Floyd and me at 29 weeks.

#2- The tiny amount of space left in our entire house that is not covered in garbage from our on-going bathroom remodel.

Today in Sacrament meeting, Floyd made it well known that there is either enough space for her or for adequate air in my lungs. I chose her.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Proud to be an American

Fourteen years ago,
a little brown skinned girl with long eyelashes started staying at our house.

On July 15, we went to a theater downtown
and waited with a crowd full of peopleto watch Ari take the oath
and become a citizen of the United States of America.

I cannot justify the reason I was blessed enough to be born
in the greatest country in the world.
She earned it.