Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Little sayings

The haze of summer has left me lacking in blogging mojo. Here are a few funny/cute/embarrassing things about having a three year old that I'm trying really hard to remember, particularly today when I barely like her at all. (Kidding. But you should have seen the way that girl lost her mind at the park today. It was vaguely reminiscent of the Las Vegas incident in terms of volume, but with the addition of loud cries about how she doesn't want a Mommy anymore. There is nothing that makes me feel better about my parenting skills than making the long march away from the playground to the car while she arches her head back, wailing at the top of her lungs.) Anyway, for your viewing pleasure:

*  After feeling mildly guilty about the amount of Doc McStuffins my kid was watching, we decided to go for a (mostly) unplugged summer. That means that Bug doesn't get to watch any television shows at all during the day (unless Mama went to work and Daddy lets her watch a show on the iPad before bed, and do you know what? No judgement here! Sometimes a parent just needs to sit on the toilet for two seconds in peace.) Anyway, it's been basically a non-issue, and I've been pleasantly surprised at how she doesn't seem to even miss it at all. Every morning we have this three line conversation:

"Mama, is it summer?"
"So we don't watch shows, huh?"

And that's it! It's over! It's been awesome, and allows Mister Baggins much more uninterrupted time to tackle Bug to the ground.

*  We went shopping the other day at a discount clothing place that has super ghetto smaller-than-average-sized carts. (You know the ones.) Bug climbed on to the side of it to hang on (safety first, I always say.) I hadn't put Mister into the seat yet, though, and the cart didn't weigh enough to absorb the addition of a three year old redhead all on one side. It started to tip, and while it didn't topple over entirely, a surprised Bug landed flat on her bottom. And that's when she began loudly announcing this to me over and over again:

"Mama! My bum hurts! Smooch it better! SMOOCH MY BUM! SMOOCH IT!"

Oh yeah, baby. Parenting is so stylish.

*  My kid used a pantyliner as a super hero mask. Yep. Of course she did.

*  Every morning immediately after breakfast, Bug starts bugging me about getting "a surprise", which is actually a package of Smarties she can receive before bed if she does a truly excellent job in remembering not to suck her thumb during the day. I shake my head, wondering where she got that impatience from. Then I go check the delivery tracking status of my online purchase for the 67th time.

* In her daily prayers, my daughter has begged for the safety of each of the following things on at least one occasion:

- her yogurt
-Jesus (I bet He's doing OK)
-her sippy cup of water
-her bandaids
-her cat (Note: she doesn't have a cat.)

This girl. I swear.

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