Sunday, January 18, 2009

Gum holes

Thursday, January 15- 2:00 p.m.:

Witnesses report 4 widsom teeth brutally torn from their little nestled little homes inside local woman's mouth.
Alleged victim: "It hurt."
(Rewind: 1:00 p.m.- Victim eats final meal at Taco Bell.)(Taco Bell? Why Taco Bell?)(Not sure. Sort of disappointed, really.)


Exhibit A: Victim before incident

Exhibit B: This little piggy went to market...

Exhibit C: I like the gas...

Exhibit D: Victim after incident (reclined in car in pharmacy parking lot.)

I'm only still smiling because my entire mouth is numb.

Don't worry, I'm fine. Mostly. In my nitrous induced haze, I neglected to get a shot of the offending teeth. Trust me, I grow some mighty fine ones. They looked mostly like this:

only better and less squiggly on the bottom. Oh, and mine didn't wimp out and break into chunks like one of this guy's did. Loser.

I've been surviving on a diet composed of my mother's hot cereal and Jello Pudding Snack Packs. It's not such a bad life, really.

Also, I discovered that I shouldn't become a Lortab addict. Not so much because it's illegal, though. Mostly because it is impossible for me to remain conscious for longer than 5 minutes at a time.

Quote o' the week: "Mom! There's rice in my gum hole!"

Currently Reading:
Night by Elie Wiesel
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
The Alchemist (haven't gone back to B&N...)


mary elizabeth said...

I hope you are feeling well!! You look great!

Liv said...

Ohh... I remember that experience. I recall opening the car door in the parking lot or driveway to throw up.


Here's to a quick recovery for you!

Melinda said...

That reminds me of when Scott and I got our wisdom teeth out at the same time in high school and we were both strung out on drugs and he made me cry because he told me I couldn't go down in the basement at the same time as him. We were both talking with mouths full of cotton and were both very drowsy. This was after we saw a dog trip over a curb on the way home and had laughed hysterically. What an emotional rollercoaster.