Exhibit B: This little piggy went to market...
Exhibit C: I like the gas...
Exhibit D: Victim after incident (reclined in car in pharmacy parking lot.)
I'm only still smiling because my entire mouth is numb.
Don't worry, I'm fine. Mostly. In my nitrous induced haze, I neglected to get a shot of the offending teeth. Trust me, I grow some mighty fine ones. They looked mostly like this:
only better and less squiggly on the bottom. Oh, and mine didn't wimp out and break into chunks like one of this guy's did. Loser.
I've been surviving on a diet composed of my mother's hot cereal and Jello Pudding Snack Packs. It's not such a bad life, really.
Also, I discovered that I shouldn't become a Lortab addict. Not so much because it's illegal, though. Mostly because it is impossible for me to remain conscious for longer than 5 minutes at a time.
Quote o' the week: "Mom! There's rice in my gum hole!"
Night by Elie Wiesel
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
The Alchemist (haven't gone back to B&N...)