Monday, September 10, 2007

"No! Stop! I didn't even say 'shake', stupid!"

Scene I.

Kris is lounging on the newly purchased Siesta Sac (which happens to be much cheaper than a Luv Sac) and is mostly paying attention to a new episode of Survivorman.

Enter Husband.

Husband: Lupe! Lupe-- sit. sit. Please sit. SIIIIT. Good dog! Ok Lupe, shake. C'mon, shake. SHAKE.

This type of dialouge continues for several minutes, punctuated with occasional sparks of laughter from a proud Husband when Lupe complies and somewhat grudgingly places her paw in his hand to receive the promised Bac'n strip snack.

Husband: Kris! Kris, watch, please! This is awesome! Lupe, shake. Shake. SHAKE.

Nothing happens.

Husband: (Groans.) I swear... just give me a minute.

Scene continues as before. Several minutes pass.

Husband: This is awesome! Wife! Watch this!

Lupe now complies readily, gobbling up her treat with great energy.


A day has passed. A couple is lounging on the aforementioned Siesta Sac, commenting on how it is easily as comfortable as a Luv Sac and how someone would be silly to spend half of a thousand dollars on the latter brand just to have that cool orange and black logo tag on it. Lupe is not lounging anywhere, but is fussing around with everything trying to draw attention away from the Sac discussion and the Chargers game playing in the background.

Husband: But, but, stop Lupe. STOP. I didn't even say shake. What are you doing?! I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY TREATS!

As the wife laughs hysterically in the background, Lupe continues pawing at any part of the Husband she can get to, trying to elicit a treat as before. At one point, she catches him off-guard and drags her paw all the way across his face, altogether quite proud of herself for her excellent "shaking" though she seems a bit confused about why no one is grabbing her leg and bouncing it up and down as before.

Husband: (forlornly) Kris, I'm a bad dad. Look at her. I should never have even taught her that stupid shaking thing. It's not even cute, and now she won't stop.

Wife continues chuckling, thinking about how hilarious life will be someday when they have real kids, and not just an adorable yellow lab.

Curtain drops.

1 comment:

Soccerbum said...

Do you hire out your husband? I have an animal he can train. LOL!!!