Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Poop makes startling entrance, abrupt exit in local home

A local woman suddenly found her home covered in human feces after an unexpected stomach bug afflicted her one year old last week, sources say.

Mister Baggins, age one, cried from his crib/poop cage in the wee hours of a morning last week before spending the next 3 days alternately vomiting all over his clean clothing and making a complete mockery of diaper after diaper. According to the boy's parents, days of force-feeding him Pedialyte, repeatedly washing his bedding, and subjecting him to excessive baths have resulted in a full recovery.

"I didn't realize what a sad little grump he was being while he was sick, " his mother stated. "It wasn't until he was feeling better that I remembered why we like him so much."

"He smells a lot better now," added the boy's father, noting that the child's diapers seemed to have magically regained their ability to absorb excrement in the days since the illness. 

Experts are unsure the cause of the outburst. Residents are warned to keep plenty of carpet cleaner and Clorox 2 on hand in case what is being called a "stomach bug" should unexpectedly strike.

Mister Baggins, fully recovered. No wonder I love him so much.


1 comment:

Samantha Kennicott said...

Charlotte had it too, while we were on vacation. So fun. Glad he is feeling better!!