Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Wherein I count one of my many blessings

Last night, Paddy and I went for a walk.

Mostly it was because I had an extraordinarily sucky day.

I claim 100% responsibility for the suckiness, and I will only blame a tiny part of it on the hormones. It was day for wallowing. Wallowing in unreasonable, inaccurate, unproductive streams of thought that I don’t actually subscribe to but which seem to be unfairly validated over and over again in real life. (Is that cryptic enough?) I knew that wallowing would only make me feel worse, but I did it anyway. So I wallowed all day, and then went home and cried into the shell pasta my good husband had made for me. It's amazing the man loves me, really, while I'm busy wallowing and crying into my shell pasta in the dark because I don’t want anyone to peer through my bamboo blinds and see that I am wallowing and crying into my shell pasta wearing only an extra large t-shirt and my underwear because I'm bound to dribble marinara and tears onto myself and let's face it, extra large t-shirts are pretty much the only thing I fit into these days. But he insists that he does, and I believe him.

So anyway, I put on some of his basketball shorts and we went for a walk to clear my head and to get Paddy a Diet Dr. Pepper.

But first we had a 25 minute conversation on our front lawn with our elderly neighbors. One by one, they listed every doctor they knew and asked if I knew them, too, because, of course, "you work over there at that big hospital." I didn't have the heart to explain how many doctors actually have privileges at that big hospital, so I just smiled and said "golly, no, I don't know that particular doctor but I'm sure he/she is great!" and was grateful that it was dark so they couldn't tell I had been crying into my shell pasta.

And in the end, the sweet German escorted the lovely lady with the walker and the fake flowers on her porch back to her house on the other side of my house, and I actually did feel better.

And Paddy held my hand and we finally started our walk. We wandered and passed the place where Paddy got a sunburn last week helping put on a new roof. We passed our neighbor who promised to share with him her authentic Italian recipes, and the neighbor who feeds him chocolate chip cookies and stories of her former life as a real estate agent. As we wandered, I admired the lawn he mowed yesterday for our neighbor who can't walk, even though our own grass was longer and he had studying to do instead.

And the point of this entire story is that as we walked back down the busy road past the apartments with the cigarette smell--me with my Zingers and he with his Diet Dr. Pepper--he switched places with me on the sidewalk. Because there are cars on the other side, of course.

And I thought of all the people in the world who don't have a Paddy to switch places with them on the sidewalk. And instead of crying (again) into my Zingers, I just gave him the last bite.


Katie and Chad Metz said...

I cannot tell you how much I relate to this story! Yesterday was a horrible day and when I asked Chad to come home from work to watch the puppy and take care of me, he did. He gave me a foot massage, got me treats at the store, and just let me feel better. We're pretty lucky girls.

Liv said...

Lovely lovely.

You captured the feeling very well and I thank you for sharing it!!

Johnson Fam said...

Isn't it great to take those walks, to be able to reflect on the good things that we have and the wonderful people we have in our lives! I know exactly how you feel!

The Rookie said...

Mondays are terrible. There's no way around that fact. And sometimes crying into our shell pasta happens to be the only means by which we can get up and go for a walk after.

I'm glad you have a Paddy to see you through all of the above.

Melinda said...

That's so sweet. Isn't it so nice to have someone who loves you even when you're wearing an extra large t-shirt?:) Sorry about your crappy day. That's the worst. I bet it does have a lot to do with hormones. I was a complete mess a lot of the time I was pregnant. Like, I would cry and cry right before going to bed every night because I didn't want them to call me in the morning to go substitute teach.

Zach and Car said...

Awww.. Zach switches me sides too... You're such a talenter writer Kris! Apparently, I am not... because I just typed talenter in the place of talented. Your little one is almost here! We're so excited for you!

Angelina said...

I'm sorry you had such a crappy day. I agree with Melinda that it was probably the hormones. I felt like I was always crying those last few weeks with Treyton. Just about anything set me off. You're lucky to have such a sweet guy like Pat to take care of you. :)