Thursday, July 24, 2008

The "s"-word

There are lots of things that are not so great about 2nd story apartment/condo living. Trust me- throughout college and early married life, I hauled enough bags of groceries (and, for that matter, couches) up rickety metal stairs to last me a life time. I have no-so-fond memories of the rusty steps at the ol' GC Numero Cinco in Logan that would surely have gifted me a lovely edition of hepatitis C should I have tripped. Wrenching our overstuffed chair in to el condo was an interesting adventure, and getting it out was even better. Like the rest of us, the furniture seemed to gain weight while we lived there.

Point is, there aren't a lot of benefits to living up. 'Cept for one.

No spiders.

I could prolly count on one hand the number of spiders I saw taking up residence in my lifted residences. For a wimpy gal like me, this is a big deal.

I'm sure you can guess where all of this is headed. Though I know it's silly, I like to pretend that Paddy, Lupe, and I are the only living things in our house. (I barely count Enrique, our sucky beta fish. I should give him more credit; the guy lives for weeks on end without food. Oops.) This lovely dream was shattered several days ago.

It all started out as a seemingly innocent problem-- a lightbulb in the basement burned out. When Paddy tried to take off the cover, however, he (loudly) discovered a giant, awful, horrifyingly large arachnid had taken up residence in the light. Not only that, but it was not at all happy about being disturbed.

I thought about sparing you the gorey details, but it's just too awful to keep from sharing. Basically, we called Tommy (ye ol' little bro) in a panic to locate some spider spray as we were fresh out. (I was without spider spray? Honestly, it shocked even me.)

When Tommy arrived, the boys planted me on the stairs to man the flashlight while they launched a full-fledged round of chemical warfare on that thing. In true spidery fashion, it didn't go down without a fight. I'm not making this up: the thing actually reared up onto his back 4 legs and pawed at the air. It was awful. I'll tell you something, though-- my husband sprang right into the sky and whacked that thing into oblivion without hesitation. It was so sexy.

We sprayed the perimeter of the basement, and I'm about one spider carcass away from calling some professional to cover my house in Diazinon. Curse those eight-legged freaks.

6 comments:

mary elizabeth said...

Eeek!! I feel all creepy-crawly now!

Glad the boys could take care of it! I'm just as much of a wimp when it comes to spiders too!

We have a HUGE dead spider in our bathroom on the floor in the corner... just waiting for Vince to dispose of. Because certainly, it is NOT something I can do. I have a panic attack everytime I see it! :S

Samantha Kennicott said...

YIKES! I hate spiders SOOO much! There was a giant one in my garage and I also had no spider spray, so I attacked it with WD-40 from Brad's toolbox. :) Your story sounds like something straight out of "Arachniphobia". :0

Liv said...

Maddie stares at the bugs that get onto my bedroom screen. I wish she would just eat them so I didn't have to do the bug-killing-dance.

Carly Q. said...

Spiders... Just the thought of them make my skin itch. They are in the top 3 of my hate list. I've also had a few bad experiences with spiders and then you are stuck being scarred for life. No wonder I'm too scared to kill one

Mish and Crish said...

This is a personal invitation to be my blogging friend. Please accept. Also I am eager to see the pictorials of our doggies!!! Anyway, I hope your doing well and keeping up with the awesome olympics! Lets take our dogs to Tanner park soon to!

Zach and Car said...

Hey Latimers! I'm not sure if you would remember us whatsoever Kristie, but we use to work with Patrick during the good ol' Sorenson days :) It's good to see that you are both doing well! Your posts crack me up, and I am DEFINITELY with you on the spider situation- eek! - Carly and Zach Brown