Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Unemployment and Crime Scenes

So I'm unemployed. I wrapped up the temp position at my mom's office job while she was recuperating, and I am now without job. The first few days weren't so bad... I refinished my mom's kitchen cabinets (they went from 'truly hideous' to 'obviously done by an amatuer but still way better than before') and cleaned her carpets, and she was good enough to pay me, so I was still technically bringing home a little bit of bread for the ol' fam. For the last two days, however, I have been really, truly, solidly without income. I feel pretty guilty that once again Husband is left to support his well-educated but rarely gainfully employed wife. A question for the masses: if every position requires experience, how are the youth of the nation supposed to become contributing members of society?

Anywho, for the last two days I've spent my time cleaning our neglected house and following around after our dog with a Ziplock for her stinky poop. It reminds me of a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up bit where he suggests that if aliens are watching our society from afar, and they see one species picking up another species' crap in little baggies, who are they to assume is in charge? About the time I found myself folding laundry between throwing a slobbery tennis ball down our little hallway for her, I realized she absolutely is the boss of me.

Unfortunately, not in a way that means that she pays me. Then I'd be employed.

So that should explain why I don't have much to post about. Pretty much the biggest event in my life today is finding that Scott and Ashley and Davis and Angie have blogs for me to check. Oh, and I'm taking the Lupers to get vaccinated today.

OH! WAIT! Hold on a sec! I almost forgot! I totally do have something interesting to say!

Paddy and I took Lupe to the dog park on 5300 South in Murray last night. We like to walk on the Jordan River Parkway, too, but for some reason decided to hangout in the park instead. While we were there, we heard a loud popping sort of sound, and commented on how it sounded like gunshots. We didn't think much of it, though, and continued making small talk with the other owners. A few minutes later, we heard several sirens headed towards us. We commented that we were glad we hadn't walked down the Parkway. Some irritating know-it-all owner with an equally lame dog insisted it wasn't on the Parkway anyway, but was OBVIOUSLY in the Walden neighborhood. We saw several emergency vehicles turning into the neighborhood, and figured maybe it really had been gunshots we heard. Wow.

We wrapped up our conversation with Mr. I-Know-It-All-But-Not-Enough-To-Buy-A-Decent-Dog and left the park. We figured we'd head down the parkway and see if we could see the police car lights and all. (By the way, have you ever noticed that humans flock to those spinning red and blues like moths to a flame? I hate moths almost more than anything, but it's true.) We went under 53rd, and when we came out the other side, we found ourselves right in the midst of a police investigation! (Turns out Mr. Smarty Pants was way off. Totally right on the Parkway-- so THERE.) The vic (that's CSI-ese for 'victim', in case you're not as cool as me) was getting the whole CPR business, and before we knew it, they had taped off the sidewalk so we couldn't get back to our car. There was also an officer with a very large gun guarding the path. I don' t like guns even a little bit, so I steered clear. I considered offering some suggestions based on my extensive CSI knowledge, but decided it might be tacky. Pretty soon the AirMed helicopter landed right in front of us, and hung out there for a while because it turned out they weren't going to be much help for the unfortunate gentleman who had been shot.

After standing there for a while feeling really lame for wandering into a murder scene with our puppy, we finally circled around the park and headed back to the car via the intersection on 5300. Not our best decision making. However, we were less retarded than the 5-6 parents who were there letting their young children play on the slides and also watch the victim die 10 feet away. I'm not even joking.

Here's a sort of cruddy picture from the news.

If you could see us, we'd be right behind the vehicles between the pavilion and the slide, behind the youngsters with front row seats.

The whole event was terribly sad-- and for us, about the most dramatic thing we'd seen that day-- and I can't believe I almost forgot to post about it. We're pretty glad we stuck to the dog park.


Davis Hansen said...

On our way home from a movie last night (No-So-Fantastic Four) we drove right past where you and Patty were. We turned on the TV to find out it was a murder scene and that the fugitives were still on the loose. Angie immediately locked the doors and closed all the curtains because she thought they might try to get into our house. People who kill other people are stupid.

Wendy said...

I'm just glad you Utahns can experience some real ghetto flava every now and then. M street--a few blocks away from me--has been the scene of THREE homicides in the last few weeks.

I'm a little bummed that you didn't whip out your CSI parlance, to be honest. :) I can't tell you how much I've gleaned about diagnostics from watching House. In fact, I just found out that one of my coworkers has lupus, and I was able to have a semi-intelligent conversation about life with lupus ALL because I'm both an anglophile and a cinefile. Beautiful thing.

Scott and Ashley said...

I would just like to echo Davis' observation that people who kill other people are, indeed, stupid. Good call Davis. (Not so good call on the movie from what I hear.) Anyway, it sounds like the only thing worse would have been if the kids playing on the playground had to track through the victim's pool of blood on their way from the swings to the jungle gym.

Melinda said...

I wish I had something cool to contribute...sigh...

Mom said...

This is your mother speaking... Listen, just because you survived living in South Salt Lake doesn't mean you are invincible....Stay clear of the banks of the Jordan River, ewwww,.... and for heavens sake don't stay out after dark :)

Doug said...

Lupus. . . . isn't that Latin for "wolf"? Yikes-- hate to think what kind of a disease would earn THAT name.

Dane said...

Let me know when you want me to answer your question for the masses. Be warned you won't like it though:)