They can, but I can't.

One of the best parts about parenting is watching the unique ways little people interact with the world. Today, while willfully ignoring the near-constant stream of chatter coming from the two people in the backseat of my car, I began imagining what the social consequences would be if I, an adult, engaged in the same habits as my kids. And so, a list of things my kids do that would be inappropriate for me to do:

1. Expressing every passing thought out loud, even if that thought interrupts a current thought.

Bug: Hey Mama, I want to go to Grammy's house because LOOK A KITTY!

2. Lacking the emotional regulation to respond to even mundane suggestions with anything other than near-hysterical energy.

Me: Who wants to go downstairs?
Mr. Baggins, hopping up and down, flapping his arms wildly: Oooo! Me me me me! Peeeeese! DOWNSTAIRS!

 

*See also: flopping to the ground in dismay at any event eliciting mild displeasure.

3. Commenting on every detail of every day, no matter how uninteresting or unimportant.

Bug, while eating a picnic lunch: Hey Mom, some yogurt dropped on my arm and not my swimsuit.

Me: Ok. Go ahead and lick it off. 

Bug: I did already.

4. Finding it necessary to clarify in what form their requests ought to be granted. Mister regularly begs for "milk please in cup." You know, because of all those times I have brought a puddle of milk for him balanced in my cupped palms and required him to lap it up like a puppy.

5. Discussing our bathroom-related needs at a 7/10 volume, no matter the location or situation. 

Bug, doing the universal potty-wiggle-dance (and maybe we're surrounded by people in church): Mama? I need-a go POTTY! Right NOW! CAN'T HOLD IT!

Me: Can we color for a minute instead?

Bug, shrugging: Yeah, sure.

Baggins, with energy: I dess put POOP in my DI-PAH.

Also: a desire to dip any piece of solid food in ranch dressing (Mr. Baggins), neglecting to flush the toilet after use (Bug), and displaying a near-complete inability to stand still, resulting in spastic dancing, spinning, and/or arm flailing while waiting for parental instructions (both), and eating ice cream with the gusto it deserves.

That noise crickets make.

Yoo hoo! Anyone out there? Hello-ooo?!

So here's the thing. It's been, like, I don't know, a million years since I last wrote anything on this little space. Generally speaking, I don't believe in feeling guilty about neglecting things that are not alive and/or important, but the thing is that I actually really enjoy writing here, and more than that, I love looking back at the way things have changed since I started. It's really the only record keeping I do, and it has become something that is important to me. (First world problems, right?) So I'm starting again! Fresh starts! New beginnings and resolutions and whatever!

Here's what happened: around the time I last blogged, things started getting a little out of control free-time-wise. In addition to the usual hubbub, we decided, for reasons that seemed more complicated at the time than they do now, to remodel our kitchen in preparation to sell our home and move. Have you ever tried living without a functional kitchen while simultaneously packing a house on an extremely tight timeline with two small children? While working nights? It's an adventure!

But we did it! We wrapped up the kitchen and I somehow managed to fit our life into boxes. Our plans changed just enough so that we ended up moving to Nana and PopPop's  house, which the kids have absolutely adored. I haven't lived at home for longer than a summer break in 12 years, but to be honest, the transition has been much smoother than I ever guessed. My family has been so welcoming, and we've had the perfect balance of great people around to help with kids and enough privacy to really feel at home.

Other things that help with adjustment: the dreamy amount of counter space available to me in my mom's amazing kitchen.

As anyone who has sold a house can tell you, the move was the easy part. Navigating the ups and downs of  having a house for sale was even more chaotic, but with the help of a fantastic real estate agent who Paddy has known for several years, we made it! Our little red house has new owners, and while we'd been planning this for a while, I cried more than expected when we stood in that empty house for the last time.

I looked around at that empty house and saw the carpet where Bug crawled awkwardly when she was first learning, and the spot we put our Christmas tree, and the rooms I put my brand new babies to sleep in, and I cried until I couldn't see anymore. I thought about all the other changes we have been navigating the last couple of months, and for a second I let myself feel really overwhelmed by all of the decisions we have yet to make.

And then I picked up my baby boy, ushered my little red-head out in front of me, and grabbed my Paddy's hand. Together, my little family of 4 marched out that door and into our future.

Oh, wait. Did I say family of four?

I meant four and a half.