Why capris are such a good look on me

This morning, I found myself sitting at my desk with an itchy spot on my ankle. Further inspection noted several raised, itchy red bumps on one calf and shin. Since every little unexpected change while pregnant results in thoughts of "oh my gosh it probably means something horrible is wrong with the baby and also it's clearly my fault", I found myself alternately bent in half under my desk and (gracefully) wrangling my foot up on top of my desk, staring obsessively at my unattractive legs. And possibly trying to take a picture with my cell phone. None of which are really very comfortable these days, what with the child pushing on my internal organs and all.

The cell phone camera really didn't capture the important visual details, so I unabashedly marched out of my office and over to Jessica's desk and made her stare at my unattractive legs. The verdict? Not mosquito bites.

Which any other rational 25 year old in the world would have recognized immediately, of course, and not wasted time making coworkers stare at his/her unattractive legs. But, see, in the 25 years I've been alive, I've never had a mosquito bite before--a fact which I have reveled in, to the great irritation of my mosquito-prone friends and family. That's not to say I've never been bitten before (as I imagine that's impossible), just that I apparently don’t have "an immune response from the binding of IgG and IgE antibodies to antigens in the mosquito's saliva" (thanks, Wikipedia.) Neither does my sister.

I whipped out the offending leg again at lunch (appetizing, no?) for another set of coworkers to review. The verdict? Better not be 9 spider bites on one leg or I'm moving out of my house.

Also ruled out:
New soap/lotion
Shaving (aforementioned child inhabiting my abdomen makes this uncomfortable and infrequent, as well)
Poison ivy/oak (doubt you can get that from laying around in my basement like a slug watching Deadliest Catch, which is what I did last night)

Verdict: If laziness caused itchy bumps, we'd have a winner.