MSG: Open Letters re: Curbing Debacle

Dear Neighbor:

It has come to my attention (repeatedly) that perhaps my dog's occasional bark is upsetting to you. It's true; she does bark from time to time when the Arby's dumpster behind our house is emptied. You'll remember, of course, that she is a dog and that the dumpster is full of roast beef.

But, no matter. By way of masking the offending noise, you'll note that Daddy

and Paddy

will be making use of a jack hammer. During a thunderstorm.

Best regards,

The (rather noisy) person who lives next door to you.

Dear Former Owners of our Home:

Were you aware that decorative yard curbing is not, in fact, part of the weight-bearing foundation for the Empire State Building? Though I am admittedly not a construction worker, I hardly feel an 18 inch footing of solid concrete was necessary.

In addition, had you considered that even if you had planned on adding the Empire State building to the foundation, perhaps random scrap metal need not have been used as an anchor?

What's done is done, however, and you'll be happy to note that we safely recovered the following from their concrete tombs in our front yard:

Bent metal pieces

A small saw bladeA large saw blade

Metal tool handlesRailroad spikes
PVC pipe circa Korean War era
A crowbar


Somewhat more concerningly, a stripper pole
(or fence post)

You're welcome.

With deepest gratitude,

The New Homeowners-turned-excavators

P.S. Many thanks to Husband, Papanwa, and MJ for completing the historic dig.

And in a monsoon, no less! Bravo!