If wishes were fishes

I should feel accomplished, but I feel deflated.

Here's the deal. Everyone has a list of a couple of things they really want to do before kicking the bucket. You're familiar with this concept. The list commonly includes things like 'stand on the top of the Eiffel Tower' or 'skydive' or 'learn the words to all 14 minutes of Rapper's Delight'.

Mine begins like this:

1. Ride an elephant.

I've thought a lot about this. I mean, riding an elephant at all is a pretty big deal, but there are a few specific details that would really cement the experience for me. Not that I'm picky, but for example, I'd really like it if the elephant had some sort of flashy head covering- preferrably with a tassle right down the center of it's nose. Ideally, the person leading the elephant would be wearing a pink sparkly leotard, big pink headpiece, a ridiculous amount of makeup on and move with exaggerated flourishes. A little like this,

only a little more feminine. If that's not available, a smallish sort of Thai boy shouting "tutt, tutt" all the time would suffice. I also think the elephant should have a large beach ball at his/her disposal. You know, just in case.

So basically, nothing fancy. Just the usual elephant riding sort of stuff.

Anywho, last night MJ and I were hanging out on my mom's bed picking out all the stuff on the tv show ER that wouldn’t happen in real life. (Answer: 95% of everything they do.) Naturally, the conversation turned to elephant rides, and as we dreamed about it, my expectations grew grander. Then,

Mom: (sighs while folding laundry) "You've both already ridden an elephant."
K & K: (in shocked unison) "Nu-uh!"
Mom: "Yes, you did. At Golden Gate Bridge Park."

Excuse me, but I think I would remember something like that. HELLO?! An elephant? This is the sort of thing dreams are made of! Now I feel obligated to scratch that and come up with a new Number 1 on the list. This, and I can't even remember if the elephant had on a hat at all- let alone whether it was tassled or tassle free.

I went home, indignantly. Paddy was watching basketball, tiredly. I began to tell him the whole horrible truth, rapidly.

K, hurriedly: "Love? Guess what? 'Member how I really want to ride an elephant with a tassle and it's on my list and you'll never guess what because momsaidIalreadydid andjustdon'trememberit!"

P, Nyquil-ly: "Mo? Is this a dream?"