Bedtime Routine

Some families have children to settle at night. Some families have romantic snuggle time at night. Our family has a needy labrador at night.

As close as I can tell, this is pretty much the mental dialogue that occurs nightly. For the sake of context, this part happens right after the frantic "I-CAN'T-BELEIVE-YOU-LET-ME-BACK-IN-THE-HOUSE-BECAUSE-I-THOUGHT-YOU-HAD-STOPPED-LOVING-ME-AND-TO-SHOW-MY-GRATITUDE-AND-SHOCK-I'M-GOING-TO-RUN-AROUND-PANTING-LIKE-A-CRAZY-PERSON" routine and the "Hmm, I should sniff every inch of this room again- just in case a cat or stranger has some how entered the bedroom since I was in here four hours ago" number, and right before she takes a long draw out of the toilet bowl. That's smooooooth.

"Scratch my ears. Scratchmyearsscratchmyearsscratchmyears, puh-leeease!!"

"See the frantic look in my eyes? I swear I'll paw your face off if you don't scratch my ears immediately. I'll do it, too. Ya'll haven't taken me to the groomers for a nail trim in months."

"Getting there, you minion... getting there..."

"Finally... success! And get that &#!%$ camera phone out of my face. I'm trying to enjoy this."

And, lights out.

{Editors Note: Don't judge me because my dog drinks out of the toilet. She loves it. It's just her height and the ceramic keeps the water cool. And also, I figure- hey. She's eating poo when she's outside anyway. What difference does it make?

Also, until you've owned a labrador, don't judge me because she eats poo, either. She's a freakin' poo-eater, and what exactly am I supposed to do about it?}